The “D” Word : The one with the ice cream

Anyone who knows me in real life will know this story from when it happened back in 2016, it’s pretty much a favourite tale to dust off every so often during social events.

So settle down, kiddos… here’s the story of the date who ate my ice cream.

I wish he was that cute though…

Through online dating I met someone who seemed very sweet, compassionate and kind.  He was a yoga instructor and a social worker for vulnerable adults, he lived about an hour away… we chatted for long time and then decided to meet for a date.  Let’s call him Yoga…

Originally, we had planned to go out for drinks in my local town.  But I had a rubbish, tiring day and just needed to chill – but I couldn’t cancel.  So I suggested something which I never would advise to anyone.  I suggested, we get a Chinese in and watch a film in my flat.

At first, it started off nicely.  Ordered quite the feast and found a good film to watch.  Conversation was good and when food arrived I nipped into the kitchen to get plates, cutlery and drinks.  Returned and we started the meal.

Yoga DEMOLISHED it.  I have a bit of an appetite and appreciate when others do – but he tucked most of that Chinese away.  I think I just slowed him down to be honest.  Afterwards, he kept nipping into my bathroom (which was attached to the living room) and being quite a while when he was in there during the film.  I wasn’t really feeling any attraction, just enjoying his company so when the evening came to a close – he went home and I was left to tidy up.

I found out why he was in the bathroom a lot… my shower cubicle was closed which was unusual as it needed airing to dry out.

My flat was very small, it was a bedroom, a little kitchen with enough room for a washing machine and fridge really, a living room and a bathroom with a shower cubicle.  There was no room in the kitchen for anything more than the fridge and washing machine, so my freezer and tumble drier was in the living room behind a vanity screen in the corner.

When I was out of the room, Yoga had somehow found my freezer and gone through it.  I’m lactose intolerant so it’s very, very rare I have anything with milk in; but I did have a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and three raspberry magnum ice creams for “medicinal purposes” (the ladies out there will know).  He found all of my ice cream and had removed it from my freezer.  During the date, when he was in the bathroom – he was EATING the ice cream.  I found the empty tub and wrappers in my shower.

… I was stunned.  What the actual fuck?!  Who would do that?!  WHY?!  I was only out of the room for 5 minutes, if that.  And in that time, he managed to make me feel unsafe in my own flat.

Yoga called when he got home to let me know he was safe, and I asked him to explain himself.  Why did he think it was okay to go through my things AND help himself to my food?  His answer was unapologetic.  He said he couldn’t help himself, if he knew there was something sweet to eat in – he couldn’t rest until he had eaten it.  This guy wasn’t chunky, just well built and toned.  But he refused to acknowledge that what he did was wrong.

I never brought a date back to my flat after that.  Not until I met Garry anyway…

May 15